When it comes to sexual pleasure, there are many misconceptions about how and why you should have it.
Many people believe that you need to achieve a particular outcome during intimacy, instead of being in the moment and having pleasure without the pressure of an orgasm.
Cheeba Africa, the company that is importing and stocking the Foria Intimacy range, together with Nurture Your Vagina, share tips on how to maximise your sexual pleasure:
Grant yourself permission for pleasure – “Pleasure is not limited to sex and pleasure should not make you feel guilty. It’s not a ‘guilty pleasure’; it’s pleasure and you shouldn’t feel ashamed for embracing it.
Women’s pleasure is not dependent on ‘sex’, nor is it in the hands of our sexual partner as opposed to our own.
These ideas result in a sense of guilt if we indulge in a little self-pleasure, whether that’s treating yourself to a spa day or masturbation. So my advice is to be gentle with yourself and grant yourself permission for pleasure.”
Explore the meaning of ‘sex’ – “What does ‘sex’ mean to you, better yet, what does ‘good sex’ mean to you? We need to acknowledge that sex is not just penis in vagina (PIV) intercourse.
Sex is inclusive of all that brings you pleasure. So when your partner says; ‘let’s have sex’ that might just be cunnilingus and that’s okay!”
Sexual self-care includes management of sexual concerns – “I beg you, please don’t push through pain! Sex should not be painful, unless that is your sexual preference, as in bondage.
If you have concerns or queries please chat to a sexual health practitioner who is passionate about sexual well-being and a willing advocate for your comprehensive care.
‘Have a glass of wine and relax’ or ‘it’s all in your head’ are NOT effective methods of management for dyspareunia (painful intercourse).
Tune in and listen to your body – “Our bodies have a way of communicating with us, making us aware of any areas that may need a little more attention.
Poor body image or other discomforts around sex may lead to dissociation when it comes to intimacy, making it difficult to be present and possibly impacting your ability to experience pleasure or reach orgasm.
Taking the time to connect to your body by exploring your anatomy, addressing body image or practicing breath work or other mindfulness techniques.”
Shift your focus from orgasm to pleasure – We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to achieve a particular outcome during intimacy. This outcome may be subconsciously shaped by societal views, social media or porn.
The expectation to have a screaming, linen-clenching, back arching orgasm with PIV sex, in 5 minutes derives from a lack of exposure to empowering and realistic sex positive content.
When we don’t meet these expectations, we might fake an orgasm (reinforcing intimacy which does not serve you) or we put pressure on ourselves and may come to believe that there is something wrong with us.
This interplay of pressure and expectation might impact your ability to be present and experience pleasure.”